The Misuse of Bacon (UPDATE)

*NOTE*this is an update to an older post, "the misuse of bacon"
I was doing my regular internet hop around, wasting time before i had to go waste time doing something else. I stumbled upon something most disturbing. This could not go unnoticed, someone made an article called "everything is better wrapped in bacon". These people are sick. What the hell is wrong with people, sorry it took me about 20 minutes to type this up because i excused myself to the restroom to stick my finger down my throat. Looking at all the pictures just gave me an acute diagnosis of leukemia. if there is any sanctity in this world these people will die of clogged arteries and drown in a pool of urine.
bacon wrapped tofu

bacon wrapped corn dogs

bacon wrapped turkey

bacon wrapped oysters

bacon wrapped eggs

bacon wrapped BACON(?wtf?)

bacon wrapped cinnamon rolls (omgz wtf?!)

bacon wrapped pork sausages

bacon wrapped hot dog

bacon wrapped corn

bacon wrapped hamburger

bacon wrapped squash

and ends with a super dramatic bacon wrapped twinkies

and bacon wrapped mr potato head.

the poor child who lost his mr potato head to some sick twisted son of a bitch to cover it in greasy bacon just to make a laugh or two online. your reward is in hell. and that is all i have to say.

automation in bathrooms

i'm a fan of the automatic door openers in grocery stores. i like the automatic car wash. i've even listened to head automatica. but one place i find no use for this automation is in the bathroom. automatic flushers are annoying, they flush before i finish wiping. but that we're used to, but now this? soap dispensers, towel dispensers automatic sinks? the damned towel dispenser gives you like a 6 square inch area to dry your hands off with and i'm finding myself flailing my arms in the air like airport runway personnel trying to get more to come out. this seriously makes me more frustrated than a guy dating a virgin for two years. the soap is simply retarded because no one cares about touching the soap dispenser to get soap out, because they are WASHING THERE HANDS WITH SOAP DIRECTLY AFTER PRESSING IT. was this made for completely OCD people? i'm sorry but not all of us are jack nicholson in as good as it gets. sinks are pretty bad too due to the fact that rapid hand movements under the sink can result in serious injury (trust me on this one). all of these things seem to make everything way less convenient. and isn't it supposed to be for convenience? i swear to god if they decide to throw in a motion censored ass wiper i'm never leaving my house again.

the plunger dilema

what the hell are you supposed to do with a plunger after you use it? put it outside until it dries? wash it? just set it on the floor? they're all awesome ideas, but what is the absolute proper way to do it? i've always felt awkward after using one.