Wednesday, May 7, 2008

teen dance movies

okay i get it. you kids love dancing. you love dancing with the stars. you love dirty dancing. you love dry humping in clubs. but their movies are getting out of hand. bring it on (1,2 and 3), save the last dance, stomp the yard, step up, step up 2: the streets, shall we dance, you got served. i'm tired of this.

i'm not even fed up with the movie studios, they're in the business of making money. i just can't believe you kids are forking up the dough to go see these movies. step up 1 and 2 brought in about 130 million to the studios with a budget of probably 10 million together. what kind of sick twisted crap is this? enough already, you MTV kids need to find something to do. play with a jump rope, or better yet a noose. go outside and play with a noose. let me know how it goes.

Friday, May 2, 2008

bad batches of string cheese

don't get me wrong, i'm a huge fan of string cheese. too huge in fact. or is it too big. i'm too big of a huge fan of string cheese. i'm a big huge of a major fan of string cheese. but string cheese, i have a gripe with you. why must you do me so wrong?

let me explain. every string cheese entrepreneur knows that there are two different kinds of string cheese. the good batch and the bad batch. one batch you get will be delicious, stringy, tasty and firm. then you get the bad batch, it doesn't string, it tastes like a brick of mozzarella, it WILL not string no matter how hard you try, and its soft and tangy.

once again, why must you do me so wrong? the only way you can get a reasonable price on string cheese is with the purchase of a 30 pack. that's the only price where i feel like i get enough cheese for my buck. but what an investment for the 50/50 chance that it's going to taste terrible like un-homogenized goats milk with lemon juice.

this doesn't differ by brand, every brand is guilty of this. what is with this natural phenomena? this is a call to all string cheese scientists out there GET TO WORK! equality in the cheese world!!!!!